Every new mother who is working would usually feel overwhelmed of the new and most challenging role in their life. Balancing your career and at the same time learning how to be a responsible mom is stressful but know that you are not alone. There are millions of moms out there who are having the same dilemma. Some are even in a far worse situation that you are in. So what if your husband forgot to throw out the trash last night? Other women don’t have a partner to help them out with the chores. So what if your job sucks? Others are doing more than one job just to be able to survive.
There are things that are happening to you that you don’t feel comfortable with. Yes, there would be problems, but it’s all up to you. You have two choices, keep whining about it and do nothing or pick yourself together and bravely face your problems.
Balancing work and life for me is the hardest part of being a mother. They are like two worlds apart which I have to deal with at the same time.
Here are 10 tips for us working moms who are still struggling in balancing work and life:
1. Don’t feel guilty of not being with your child all the time
Just this morning, I was contemplating on quitting my job because I feel so bad about having to leave my son every Monday morning. But I thought, hey I have to work so I would be able to provide for his needs. Instead of feeling guilty of not being with your child, it would be better to think of the benefits your family gets from your job.
Think of it this way, if you would stop working, you would not have money to buy your family’s daily needs. Wouldn’t you feel guiltier knowing that you could have provided it if you’ve just sacrificed a few hours away from home?
2. Talk to your employer about your schedule.
In balancing life and work, a clear time allowance is a must. And I mean a clear schedule of your time in and out from work. Find out if your employer offers a flexible time which would be very beneficial to you if you have kids to drop and pick up from school.
Try to be open and most importantly honest with what you need. And of course, make sure that the work schedule you are proposing to your boss will not hamper your productivity.
3. Find someone you can trust to care for your child while you are at work.
As a mother, it is normal for us to care and make sure our child is well taken care of. If you worried about your child’s safety while you are away, ask someone you can trust to look after him/her. If you have a family or friend available near you, it would be better to leave your child with them.
You would have a peace of mind at work knowing that they are in good hands rather than leaving them with a nanny you barely knew.
4. Divide your work time and family time properly.
Sure you can’t help thinking of your child even when you are at work and your job when you are at home. But you must never forget that home is for family and office is for your job. Try to focus on your job while you are in the office so you could be worry free once you get home and enjoy a quality time with your family.
Avoid multitasking, don’t do work at home when you are supposed to spend time with your child. According to Publilius Syrus, “To do two things at once is to do neither.”
Always keep in mind that weekends and holidays are family days, never miss any. Spend as much time as you can with your children before they grow fast. Before you know it, they’d be busy with their own lives and building their own family.
5. Always prepare the night before.
As much as possible, make sure that everything you need for the day has already been prepared the night before to avoid chaos. Living with my older sister and her three kids for more than five years gave me a clear picture of what it’s like if you won’t be able to prepare your kids things for the following morning. It was always an hour of nagging (from my sister) and crying (from the kids).
Now that it’s my turn, I always make sure that everything is organized. Clothes must be washed by Saturday, ironed by Sunday and ready to use by Monday.
I also learned from my sister that, assignments or take-home works should be done the moment the kids gets home or else they will forget they have an assignment and they’ll blame you for not reminding them.
6. Share some load.
Sure, it feels fulfilling to attend to all your kids needs but you are only human and your body gets exhausted. You are already tired from work. If you try to do all the chores at home plus some other stuff you think you need to do yourself is suicide.
Share some of your load to your partner (if you have one), or the kids. Make a calendar where you could put reminders of your bills (Your husband can pay your bills while you are doing the groceries), school and family events, birthdays, and chore schedule for the kids
Letting your kids help with some of the house chores like putting away their toys after playing will not only teach them how to be organized and care for their toys, but they will also know that it is not simple to clean up after their mess.
7. Be connected even when you are away.
It is important to let your kids know that they are important to you even if you can’t be physically there for them all the time. As much as possible, make sure that you are still connected with them even when you are away.
When we want a brighter future for our children we must make a sacrifice. Being away from her child is the worst sacrifice a working mom would do. Lucky for our generation, we can now use technology to bring our family closer to us through video calls or a simple phone call.
8. Don’t expect too much.
Thinking that everything will go as you’ve planned, is not a good thing. There are some things that you cannot control and expecting too much from someone, even yourself might make you frustrated in the end.
There will be times that you won’t get what you expected; from work, your partner or your kids. Don’t about things that you cannot change or things that won’t matter after a month.
9. Stick to your planned budget.
Another hard task for a working mother especially if you are the breadwinner; is sticking to your planned budget. Never spend more than what you have allocated, sure there would always be emergency expenditures but that should be taken out from savings you have put aside. As for your monthly budget, you have to make sure that you are only going to spend according to your budget plan. If possible, try to save on your bills such as electric by minimizing the usage of appliances.
10. Pamper yourself.
It is normal for us to prioritize our loved ones, but we must not forget that we are also important; you have the right to pamper yourself. It’s not being selfish if you visit a spa, get make over or go out with your girlfriends once in a while.
If you would be able to manage your time properly, you can have that time for yourself. This would help you unwind and feel energized. Also, remember that health is wealth so you need enough rest and have a healthy diet.
No matter what happens, we should always look on the bright side because if we let all the negativity takes over, your problems would just pile up until it drowns you. It might take months or years to get used to, but “practice makes perfect”, right?