7 Annoying yet Hilarious Spam Comments on Blogs

I’m still manually moderating all the comments on this blog. It doesn’t only prevent spam comments to be automatically approved, but it also gives me the opportunity to know my commenters and understand their behaviors. I’m happy to read comments that show gratitude and appreciation on what I do on this blog. I also feel challenged to make improvements whenever I read comments from people who are asking things that I can’t still give. But more than 50% of the comments that this blog is receiving are actually coming from spammers, who only leave comments to selfishly promote their links.

Spam comments are annoying. Who would be happy to receive spam comments on their blogs? But that is the life of a blogger – unless you disable the commenting system on your blog, you have to deal with different kinds of commenter, whether spammers or legitimate commenters. But though they may be annoying, there are times that they are becoming funny and making me smile. The following are some of the annoying yet hilarious spam comments I’ve noticed on this blog.

 

1. The off-topic commenter

This kind of spammer automatically injects or leaves a comment telling you that his or her comment is somewhat off-topic. Well, the comment that is left is not actually somewhat off-topic, but actually totally out of topic. This spamming tactic is used by many to make an alibi or cover up the fact that they never actually read your blog post. Below is an example of this spam comment, and if you will receive it – you already have a clue on what to do about it.

Hey this is somewhat of off topic but I wanted to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Well, this kind of off-topic comment will directly go to the trash. Thanks for telling that your comment is off-topic in the first place.

 

2. The erroneous commenter

This spammer pretends that he has written a very long comment on one of your blog post, but has gotten an error when he clicked the submit button. Nice try for this dude, but if we will Google his comment – the search engine results will tell us that this kind of comment are spread all over the blogosphere. The following is an example of that kind of spam comment.

Wow that was odd. ? just wrote a very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

You cannot fool us my friend! 🙂

 

3. The clueless commenter

There is also this type of commenter who seems to not have any clue why he has landed on your blog page. Perhaps your blog has a magic that abducts people with a laser beam and bring them on your blog. Below is an actual example of that comment left on our blog.

I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already Cheers!

Well, I also don’t have any clue who you are and what kind of comment are you talking. 🙂

 

4. The commenter with a slow Internet connection

Another type of spam comment is the one that tells how slow his Internet connection is, and that he will back at your blog later because he can’t access it now. Unless your blog is actually having serious problems when it comes to your web hosting server, this comment is obviously irrelevant. And when you try to Google the whole comment, you would discover that this is just a spam comment which has been left to thousands of blogs over the Internet. Yes, you have been trolled. Check out an example of this type of comment below:

I’m not sure exactly why but this web site is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it an issue on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

This spammer will actually back later, not to see if the problem still exists, but to spam you again. 🙂

 

5. The discontented commenter

Another absurd moment in the commenting system is when you publish a comprehensive and extensive blog post and then suddenly, you could read a comment from someone who is asking you to write more about your subject and elaborate your topic further… just like the following comment.

Terrific post however, I was wondering if you could write a little more on this subject?
I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Thanks!

If you have created a very exhausting and lengthy blog post, how will you react on that? But just relax, it’s not actually telling you how inadequate you are – it’s a spam comment you know.

 

6. The blind commenter

Perhaps the funniest and most ridiculous of all is this – that moment when you have a clear contact page and the link to that page is very visible on your menu. Then you will read a comment from someone asking you if you have a contact page. Is this commenter blind? But of course not, because that commenter is actually a spammer who is ignorant and doesn’t care about your blog. That spammer only cares in getting a link from your blog out of commenting.

Does your site have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

What the heck is this person talking? But of course it’s a robot that is automatically programmed to spam you anyway. 🙂

 

7. The mobile commenter

Last but not the least is the mobile commenter who uses a new iPhone to browse and comment on your blog. Would you believe that? You might be fooled until you will realize that the name of the commenter is Payday Loan. Besides, that comment is just irrelevant. This type of comment spam is very common nowadays, especially that the iPhone keyword is so popular. Check out the following actual comment I received on this blog.

Hello! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iPhone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the superb work!

Wow! Thanks for the kind and flattering words. I just wish you aren’t a spammer. 🙂

 

Conclusion

All of the annoying yet funny comments above are spam. You can check them by simply using the search engines, like Google, Yahoo, and Bing, to find out if those comments are duplicated and have been used to spam other blogs. This is one simple technique to detect spam comments on your blog. The search engines will usually show you a lot of verbatim or duplicated comments that have been left on other blogs. A legitimate comment will usually show no results, which mean it is unique and was only made by a commenter on your blog.

No matter how many comments we receive in our blog in a daily basis, as long as it is still possible to manually moderate them, we have to do the manual thing. It doesn’t only keep us away from spam comments, but it also gives us a lot of useful insights on how to improve our blog. Besides, some of these spam comments are just hilarious to read.